8 Things my Cat Taught Me about Life
Sixteen years ago, I met my best friend. I was living in a new place, far from most of my friends and family, and feeling profoundly alone. All I wanted was to feel connected to someone. When the veterinary tech who rescued her introduced me to Stinky the Cat (yes, I named her but I also like to claim she named herself), she told me all Stinky was looking for was someone to love her. I immediately felt a kinship with this tiny little ball of fur who fit in the palm of my hand and knew she was the one for me. Some could say as a rescue cat, I changed her life but I truly believe she changed mine.
For one, Stinky is definitely the longest relationship I’ve had to date (family members excluded). Together, we’ve lived in four states and six cities, survived many all-nighters while I earned three college degrees, and outlasted numerous ex-boyfriends (mine, not hers). She’s helped me through some of the toughest times of my life and been entrusted with all of my deepest secrets (I mean, who is she going to tell?). Most importantly, she’s taught me some pretty significant life lessons.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
Stinky is a true scaredy-cat: she is afraid of everything! Almost everything. The one thing she is not afraid of is letting you know when she wants something. If I’m eating a bowl of cereal and she wants the milk, she uses her paw to try and pull my hand holding the bowl to within her reach. If she’s eaten a hole in the center of her food and wants more (even though the bowl is still over half full), she will cry like she’s starving to death. If she wants attention but I’m still sleeping, she will lay next to me, slapping my face with her tail until I wake up.
There are so many times I’ve wanted something I’ve been too afraid to ask for: a promotion, a raise, a discount…. What if I hadn’t been afraid to ask? Would I have gotten everything I wanted? No, probably not. But I might have gotten some of those things. At the very least, I might have gotten some advice or feedback on how to make some of those things happen. If someone says no (or moves the cereal bowl out of your reach), adopt a new approach and try again.
Get plenty of rest
If there’s one thing Stinky loves (other than my latest issue of US Weekly), it’s a good catnap. She’s sleeping when I get home from work, she sleeps on the couch next to me while I write, she jumps up into bed and sleeps with me at night, and yet, she’s sleeping right next to me when I wake up in the morning. When doesn’t she sleep?!
What’s the one thing I don’t get enough of? Sleep. Ironic, huh? In today’s society, it’s acceptable and almost expected to be constantly on the go. We’ve got full time jobs, side hustles, fitness memberships, book clubs, brunch dates, networking events…who has time to sleep?! Yet, when I don’t sleep, my work suffers and my friends and family don’t get the best version of me. I’m learning to listen to my body and prioritize making time for myself. Besides, who doesn’t love curling up in a sunny spot and taking a little catnap?
Appreciate the simple things
Speaking of sunny spots, if there is one in my apartment, my cat will find it and savor it. The same goes for “wildlife”: she will sit in the window all day, joyously watching for birds and squirrels. When she lays on my lap and I rub her tummy, she will look back at me with pure love and gratitude in her eyes.
When’s the last time you took a moment to just enjoy the things around you? To recognize small gestures like someone starting your car on a cold day or asking if you need anything from the office supply room since they’re going anyway? Finding ways to be present and appreciate the little things have led me to feeling more grateful and fulfilled.
Don’t sweat the material things
When I first got Stinky, I went a little crazy buying her cat toys. I wanted her to have lots of options and all the best things! She also had cute little food and water dishes and a fun, girly collar. Other than her favorite catnip hedgehog, do you know what her favorite toys are now?! Tissue paper and plastic Target bags. My hair ties, Q-tips and bobby pins are not far behind. Like a little kid at Christmas, she’s more excited by the packaging than what’s inside.
As someone who loves new things (and shopping!), this is one area where my cat has better instincts than me. I love fashion and it’s easy to get caught up in wanting the latest trends and cutest shoes (my biggest weakness). I also have serious FOMO when it comes to the newest things. Yet, by following my favorite fashion blogs, I’ve found that often I can recreate the latest looks with things I already own. This one is definitely a work in progress but I’m trying. Be patient with me, kitty.
Have a short-term memory
My cat’s short-term memory is one of her best characteristics. If I have to give her medicine, she has already forgotten five minutes later (especially if treats are involved). If I trip over her tail, she’s back looking to snuggle in a few minutes. Don’t forget about the hours and hours I leave her all by herself while I go to work. I might feel guilty for leaving her all day but she’s forgotten before I’ve even finished refilling her food dish.
People have long memories and some hold even longer grudges. Animals don’t do that. They have this incredible capacity to forgive and forget that I wish I had more of. Holding on to things just makes us resentful and untrusting. Unless it’s a major betrayal or harming someone, learn to let it go.
The power of strong bonds
They say pets have a way of knowing when something is wrong. While this may be true, I believe this can be attributed to the strong bonds people form with their pets. The same way we learn to notice changes in their behavior, they can sense them in us as well. When I had my surgery a few years ago, my cat refused to leave my side. She slept beside me all day and followed me to whatever room I went to. She obviously didn’t know I’d had surgery but she could sense a change in both my daily routine and emotions.
When we form strong bonds with those we care about, we have these same abilities. For example, I can tell when one of my best friends is having a tough time and wants to talk just by the way he punctuates his text messages. These bonds are often forged through an ability to be in tune with each other which then leads to an ability to be there for each other in a way few others can be. Those bonds are sacred: nurture and cherish them.
The importance of communication
Communication is key to forming these types of bonds. Animals speak a different language than we do and yet, we not only find a way to understand each other but we become each other’s best friends. That’s because we take the time to learn each other’s signals and cues in an effort to show our love and bring each other happiness.
Do you ever feel like your significant other or a family member speaks a different language? That’s because we all communicate differently. Communication is more than just talking. It’s showing, asking, listening, and clarifying. If I can learn to communicate with my cat, I promise you can learn to communication with anyone.
Love unconditionally
There are definitely times I’ve been a less than ideal cat-mom. The important thing isn’t what I did (or didn’t do) to let her down, it’s that she looks at me the same way no matter what. She loves me for me, even on the days I don’t love myself.
Shouldn’t all relationships be that way? People will let you down, hurt you, and make decisions that you don’t agree with. But if you really care about them, you will forgive them and accept them, just the way they are. The vet tech told me all Stinky wanted was love but isn’t that all any of us really want: to love and be loved unconditionally?
Do you or have you had any pets? What kinds of things did they teach you about love and life?
