Reflection as a Means to Growth
Whether you’re a New Year’s resolution type of person or not, I do believe it is important to reflect on the year behind you. Without reflection, we can not grow.
2019 was a huge year of growth for me. I’m coming up on 5 years of “cancer-free” and I realized this last year that I was allowing my fear of the cancer coming back to hold me back. I was afraid to start significant relationships because I felt like my cancer was a burden. Why would someone want to take on my fear of cancer coming back, my scanxiety and the stress of seemingly endless medical bills? At some point, I had stopped placing value on my physical fitness because of frustration. In the past few years, it felt like every time I got into a fitness routine, I needed another biopsy that set this routine back again.
I’m also an emotional eater so this fear and frustration led to a lack of healthy eating habits. I placed value on comfort food over nutrients and would eat to numb my feelings. The problem with numbing my feelings is that not only did I not process my emotions and deal with them in a healthy way but I also became numb to my body and what I physically needed.
Once I recognized that it was fear holding me back, I spent a LOT of time on my mental and emotional health, my mindset and determining what is really valuable/meaningful to me now (more on that here). I put an emphasis on taking better care of my body and providing it with the movement and nutrients it needs. I pushed myself to be more open and present with people. I was intentional about surrounding myself with healthy relationships and allowing them in instead of pushing them away when they got “too close”.
I also spent a lot of time getting to know myself again. The last few years have changed me immensely and what’s most important to me has changed as well. I’ve changed careers and devoted more time to passion projects. I’ve worked really hard on letting go of what I believe I “should” be doing and following what’s on my heart. I developed a morning routine dedicated to finding myself and setting my days up for success.
I know myself so much better than I have in a long time and I finally believe in myself again! I’m so excited to keep growing in 2020 now that I know how strong I really am and what I’m truly capable of!
How are you reflecting on 2019? What are you most excited about for 2020?
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